After opening a bottle of wine and gathering around the computer, we decided it was necessary to deconstruct Valentine’s Day. Turns out we don’t like it. Here’s why:1. It stigmatizes single people. If you don’t have anyone as your Valentine, you have to stay home since all the restaurants are crowded with couples looking at you with sympathy, possibly while thinking “Good thing I’m not you.”
2. Even if you have somebody, you get nervous thinking about what exact gifts adequately represent the degree of romance you’re supposed to show them. Is a box of chocolate enough if we haven’t had good sex yet?
3. Companies make way too much money off our complacent consumerism. How much money do we throw away buying stupid gifts only because they’re shaped like hearts?
4. Its hypocritical nature: show somebody that you love them by only doing something interesting or special on one day of the year? Come on.
5. The rules are based on straight people. Is this holiday applicable to other relationships (gay, lesbian, queer, etc)? Do we even want it to be?
6. Women’s self-esteem is placed in a more vulnerable position. For them, it is seen as more of an accomplishment to maintain a relationship and if by February 14, they aren’t in one, they have failed the test. (Fun fact: women purchase 85 percent of all Valentine’s Day cards).
7. Valentine’s Day tends to celebrate monogamous couples. If you’re in an open relationship or have more than one partner, you better pick one for the dreaded date or say that you are busy.
8. If you’re in a relationship, nothing can take precedence over Valentine’s Day. In fact, even if you started dating yesterday, you better get ready to drop everything and do something. You can’t do Valentine’s Day in March.
9. If you are born on February 14, forget the cake and forget the special Facebook greetings. Nobody cares.
10. If you’re a man (regardless of your socio-economic background and assuming you date women), you are expected to spend lots of money on presents. Diamond earrings? That was so last year.
11. If you’re a woman (regardless of your socio-economic background assuming you date men), your present is not supposed to be more expensive than what you get. A good woman is judged by the present that you get, not the present that you give.
12. All the red, white, and pink merchandise that nobody could sell goes to waste. After February 14, there’s no more use for plush-toy hearts. Unless you’re into that.
13. It’s not just about sexual/romantic relationship. If you’re not popular and don’t get as many Valentines as you gave out, you’re kind of a loser.
14. Finally, nobody wants to watch romantic comedies over and over again on TV. What was that movie with Ashton Kutcher? Was that a horror film?
In our humble opinion, what’s wrong with loving whomever you want whenever you want in whatever way on every day of the year? Celebrating all year long rather than being judged on one day sounds a lot better to us.
Maryna Shevtsova, Gender Studies
Chris Zivalich, Gender Studies
Olga Burmakova, Gender Studies
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