What’s the most eagerly awaited day of the Christmas break for Spanish kids? No, not the 24th. That’s for gringo kids, c’mon! In my home country, kids spend their holiday craving the arrival of the very last day of their holiday, the 6th of January. Jesus’s Epiphany.Día de Reyes. The day when their behaviour during the previous year will be assessed by three external, objective, almighty, fancy and mysterious graders: the wizard kings.
Not much is known about these guys. We know they come from Oriente (the East, even though this is not a particularly concrete geolocation), have a reputation for their magic powers and wisdom, are outstandingly long-lived (they already visited baby Jesus, once upon a time some 2013 years ago), and are in charge of the significant task of bringing presents to all kids of the world during the night of the 5th January, every year. It seems kids out of Spain ignore this, and they don’t get the presents because of sere negligence. If you don’t write the letter and don’t leave the window open, how the heck do you expect them to come and enter, with those contemporary narrow chimneys???? These guys are kings, and consequently pretty fat! I know it because I see them every year, as I am about to explain.
They are very glamorous and glad to be seen in public, not as that sketchy and shady “Saint Claus”, who always hides from public observation (the real one, I know there are tons of fake ones around). They parade around and confront their audiences in public hearings. These are real celebrities, f**k yeah! We also know well their names and physical appearance: Melchor has a long white beard, Gaspar a long brown beard, and Baltasar is a black dude. Sometimes shaved, sometimes not. According to the fashion trends of the moment, he’s undoubtedly the David Beckham of this multi-racial trinity. Also the favourite of children and not-so-children.
The 5th of January, these 3 characters arrive to my city (and yes, they arrive to MY city: I’ve been par of the arrival committee several times). Generally, they arrive in the morning to the train station. They bring so many presents with them that they need a train, obviously. Then, after a public hearing, they visit the sick children in the hospitals and they spend the rest of their afternoon getting ready for the glamorous parade that will cross the city, accompanied by their chevaliers, pages, trouvadours, camels and cars filled to the edge with presents. Even the fire-fighters come to assist them in the show, taking care that everything moves smoothly. Dammed, these guys are important! After the parade is when the real deal begins: they must visit all houses in the country (and probably some abroad, I guess) to reward good kids with the presents they asked for, or punish them with a hip of coal if they have been naughty and misbehaved.
For that, obviously, you must first send them the letter in advance, describing the toys you want they appreciate reference numbers, to make the shopping more efficiently. It generally begins “Queridos Reyes Magos”, or “A la atención de susmajestades los Reyes Magos de Oriente” if you want to be a little more formal. They have a long-lasting partnership with the postal service, so the letter will surely arrive and be read. But if you run out of time, you can give it directly to their royal postmen, waiting for late minute letters in every city.
Then, the night of the 5th, you must set some facilities for them to enter your house, and then leave some snacks and beverages for them to fuel up: they have a long night ahead of them! They seem voracious: the brandy and cookies I leave for them is always eagerly devoured. Reportedly, they have a great tolerance to alcohol, for most of my friends also leave alcoholic drinks for them.
And then, the magic moment… when you wake up the next morning and discover the presents (or the coal) and the evidence of their visit. Heart-warming.
I am not monarchic. Actually, I mostly dislike the idea of somebody ruling above somebody by rule of birth. But this day of the year, I must recognize I do feel some kindness for the royalty. Actually, a big kindness. OK. I confess. I also crave the arrival of Día de Reyes. And yes, I have always felt some predilection for Baltasar, the black dude.
And that son of a ***** brought me again a hip of coal this year, despite of my polite and detailed letter! Have I really been that bad, man????!!!!
Sergio RejadoAlbaina, MESPOM, Spain
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